Thursday, May 16, 2013

:-/


I read this article recently.

http://jamesrusselllingerfelt.wordpress.com/2013/04/25/date-a-boy-who-travels/

 I finished it with a coo, I thought what a lovely idea. It filled my heart with the hopes that someday I will find a like-minded soul mate and we will have grandiose adventures around the world, get married and name our children after all the special adventures we shared together.


But then the cynic fought it's way to the surface. In reality probably not going to happen to me and to majority of people and I can't help but find a few faults with this article.

Yes, it is a very well article about some of the wonderful super-mega-bonus features that comes with dating a traveller, but I think it may skim over some of the negative points. I was reading the comment section afterwards and a few other people seem to have the same idea as me.  Here are some points I think worth mentioning if you are going to date a traveller, some good, some bad:
  • They will be ready to leave before you have even found your suitcase. If months on the road teach you anything, it is how to wake up, pack up and ship out in under half an hour, often with a raging hangover. (Good if you ever need to go on the run)
  • Flighty – who is more flippant s than those who spend months on the road, picking up and leaving whenever the feel, changing their course on a whim. Great whilst travelling  does not transfer to well to the real world. 
  • May not be able to stick things out, when the going get tough, the traveller jumps on the next train.
  • Some people you meet will be on the road solely for the adventure and to experience the world, but other people who are running away, from what varies. But it can be hard to get commitment out of someone like this.  
  • Be ready to wait for this person, but don't wait too long. It is a very fine line. I broke up with my last serious boyfriend because I wanted to back pack south east Asia for 3 months, he was happy to wait for me and that was the problem. He should have wanted to come with me, or at least be upset that I was leaving and hadn't invited him. 
  • Selfish. When you have spent month making decisions only for yourself you can have trouble reintegrating back into society.  
In theory it is nice to think you will find someone that shares your enthusiasm for life and will travel to the forgotten corners of the globe with you. But, what do they say? Opposites attract? You can't bring two crazy travellers together and expect them to have wonderful adventures together, it will end in tears. You can travel with the one you love, but someone needs to be the more grounded person in the relationship and from personal experience I know it can't be me.  I'm not saying every traveller is like me, but this is based on myself and others I have met on the road. (I have met some great travelling couples and I am super happy for them, but they're the exception, not the rule)

I think the article will lead to an increase of desperate women trawling airport bars and travel sections of the book store looking for a 'chance' encounter with a world weary stranger, someone who can be their everything and open their eyes to a world beyond their scope, but if your eyes aren't already open, somebody else probably can't do it for you.

I think Seeker, Lover, Keeper had it right in the song “Even though I'm a woman” (awful title, I think it detracts from how good the song is)

Lines worth mentioning

"I'm in love with missing you more than I'm in love with you."
"I love the danger in distance."
"I love you more when I'm missing you, it's why I'm always away"
"I was born to be in a state of longing"


Pretty sure I am going to die alone, my shrivelled black heart will cease to beat.   

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